Seen on Fox News
Selected Client Testimonials for America’s Leading Marriage & Divorce Coach;
Life Coach & Mediator, Susan Allan
The Marriage Forum, Inc.
The Peace Forum©
The Divorce Forum SM
Los Angeles and Santa Barbara, CA 818-314-1200
“I've stopped therapy because you were far more helpful!” Bryn Freedman, Executive Producer, GRB Productions, for Intervention, A & E Reality Series.
Jim Aldinger; former Mayor of Manhattan Beach, CA and Chief of Staff at Boeing Aircraft "Susan was a big help in getting me to focus on what I really wanted in a relationship. She was motivating and positive."
Service Category: Personal Coach
Year first hired: 2006
Top Qualities: Expert, High Integrity, Creative
“We’ve been with you for 2 years in your workshops twice a month. For 30 years; when I was 33 y old, I started on the road to self-discovery and in that time I’ve had teachers like Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer; you name them, and it wasn’t until the past 2 years when I see Susan working with people and using her Heartspace system and using Herrmann Brain Dominance. I have not encountered a better stronger more dedicated, peaceful teacher in my entire life. The beauty of what Susan does is she only needs one person to do it. With one person I have seen her turn around relationships; I guess everything comes down to relationships, whether you’re having a problem with a spouse, with a child, with yourself. I’m always overwhelmed how she dedicates her self and how relentlessly she seeks a solution. And it’s such an honor to be here with you today and this is the best part; we’re only at the start!” Richard J. Dolwig, Jr. Family Law Judge pro-tem (Ret.), Cert. Family Law Specialist (Ret.) Attorney; Mediator and Arbitrator during Magical Marriage video with wife, Linda Dolwig, Santa Barbara, CA
"How would you like to have a coach who functions as your business partner, helping you make hundreds of thousands of dollars and only charges you $250/week for two 1-hour sessions? She doesn't ask for any company stock, and you don't have to buy her any drinks after work!" Saam Gabbay CEO Humunculus March 2011
We have received trainings and coaching from Susan Allan for a number of years and have found her Heartspace System© of Communication to be an incredible benefit as we continue to develop our companies and the contribution we make to all our clients. With her Whole-brained™ approach, we have adjusted every area of our business from hiring, management, and the results are apparent in our bottom line. Thank you, Susan, for your commitment to us and to Health Action, Inc and Circle of Life Wellness Coaching. We are also excited that Susan has begun offering a series of Teleseminars to our Wellness Coaches, too. Dr. Roger Jahnke is founder and CEO of Health Action Inc.; he the co-founder of the National Qigong Assoc and is the founder and director of training of the Integral Institute of Tai Chi and Qigong and has been a Teacher/Trainer of Qigong at The Omega Institute, Esalen, Kripalu since 1993. He is the Keynote Speaker for the 2009 National Institute of Health Conference. Rebecca McLean is the founder and director of training of Mind - Body Wellness Coach Training; she is the co-founder and President of the Healer Within Foundation and Rebecca has also been a regular Trainer of Wellness Coaches at the National Wellness Institute, The Omega Institute, Esalen, Kripalu since 2000.
"I spoke to Susan Allan on February 9th and I was in a state of complete animosity, uncomfortable even calling my former husband by his first name. Then after talking with Susan once again on February 10th I was able to come from a place of peace. Today, February 11th, I used the dialogue that I had developed with Susan to turn a very stressful and anguishing custody issue around to a place where we are discussing peaceful solutions. Susan is a miracle worker!" - L.K. Buellton, CA
“I AM SOO EXCITED to be reconnecting with you Susan!!!! You are the ONLY person that ever provided me with so much insight and knowledge about myself..... :)” SH, Tampa, FL
“Thank you. You are helping me see my behavior patterns from a different perspective, and I am feeling stronger and also impatient to get rid of old ways. I appreciate the help and support.” Kathy L. Santa Barbara, CA August 2011
“Thanks for all you do for so many! You added to the Women’s Festivals!” Patty DeDominic, Founder the International Women’s Festivals
”In my 27 years as a Family Law Litigator and Judge Pro-tem and in my 10 years as a Family Law Mediator since then, I have never experienced such a dramatic positive turnaround in a client in such a short period of time. It not only makes my work easier, but it makes it actually enjoyable. At the first mediation session with her husband, she was a victim, distraught, angry, blaming, tearful, into here drama, focused on the past and fearful for her future. In the second mediation session she was peaceful, focused on the present, with clarity about who and where she was, where she wanted to go and how she was going to get there. In between sessions she was able to communicate with her husband in a way that brought him to tears. What happened between sessions? - - she followed up on my suggestion that she contact Susan Allan and it made all the difference. Thank you so much.”Richard J. Dolwig, Jr. Family Law Judge pro-tem (Ret.), Cert. Family Law Specialist (Ret.) Attorney and Counselor at Law Mediator and Arbitrator based in Santa Barbara, CA
“I would like you to know how much I appreciate you, love you, and am grateful for the wonderful work that we have done over the past couple of months. I have seen shifts & movement in many areas of my life that had been stagnant for some time Thank you again for everything, so far & I look so forward to resuming our sessions together, (assuming that you are available still), soon!” GG Los Angeles, CA
“I've been thrilled with the coaching I've gotten from Susan Allan, as well as with the unusually effective tools she has given me to share with clients and colleagues. Susan’s unique combination of interpersonal and communication models have supported me through many challenging issues in both my personal and professional life. It has been delightful to find that she has ploughed the road the before me! I have felt a deep connection with Susan since the moment we met and our connection continues to be a rare meeting of heart, mind, and spirit.” Lisa-Marie DiVincent, Therapist and Counseling Trainer since 1983, Oregon.
“You are a Miracle Worker” Lucille Fuesz, Haxtun CO, after successful family mediation
“We are busy with our wedding planning and moving in together. I discussed it with G and we would like to invite you to the wedding September in Vail. I am very happy. There are some adjustments of course but I try frequently to instill many of your techniques to keep me grounded. I even suggested some of your tips since she is often gets stuck in "storytelling" Craig G, Colorado April 2011
"My life is exactly where I want it to be and Susan Allan was a very big part of that change. She insisted early on that it would really take a mind-shift and changes in neural pathways, however, given my skeptical nature I really had my doubts but of course I was proven wrong when I saw results. After a very difficult divorce with three children involved, a forced international move, a desperate marriage following my 1st divorce to entirely the wrong woman then the 2nd divorce after 3 months, I am now absolutely thrilled. It was with Susan's guidance and focus on the weaker commitment quadrant of my brain plus goal setting that helped me to get to exactly the place I need to be in life. I have met the perfect woman that completes me and complements me. She is supportive of the fact that I have children, is beautiful, sensitive, caring, smart, independent, and she shares many of the values and interests that I hold dear. I am 100% committed to her with no questions in my mind - clarity is a beautiful thing. I went through many dire times before reaching this goal. I am very thankful that Susan was very much a guidepost for me during this journey." Craig B. Ginsberg Telecom & Media Alliance Manager, Denver, CO 1.303.408.1439 February 2011
“Susan eliminates barriers, traveling the way of spirit and heart. She allows people to enter that area, and say ‘Yes’ instead of “No”. Susan Allan is the wings people glide on as she brings them through these difficult times seeing through the clear eye of the eagle. She respects their path and their history so that they go forward without their burdens.” Charles R. Quintero, Peacemaker to the Navajo Nations, California certified mediator and arbitrator
“I just got back from a trip and D and I carpooled together (another Goal-reaching miracle!). In answer to your questions regarding the relationship conversation we had, there were some times that I did empathize, and some opportunities missed. I had recognized those opportunities, and you have definitely confirmed the opportunities missed. I'm excited to be able to be more present next time, and it's helpful to look at your questions and remind myself of all the opportunities to empathize in that conversation, and future conversations. I'm excited also because I notice that I am able to be more empathetic in my conversations with everyone. I am definitely, step by step, reaching that goal! May I also say that I definitely recognize that these things that are happening are being created by my Goal-reaching techniques and focus. I am constantly amazed and grateful to see the way all of these things fall into place. On our way home, we went hiking by ourselves and enjoyed that, and HE gave ME a hug when he left! Again, I'm so amazed at how this stuff just falls into place because of the goal reaching work we're doing together! Thank you so much for your support and assistance!!! Susan N. Phoenix, AZ
“Dear Susan, After the first one hour session with my teen-aged daughter- my observations:
1. She seems to be more clear and light and present as oppose to mad, sad and preoccupied (the difference is huge).
2. She said to me, "The way that I've been going about things is all wrong, I thought I could take my time and just get there when I get there."
3. She has made an actual list of "things to do". She is being a little more organized.
4. She is being more respectful and following rules: curfew and car usage
5. She spoke with her Dad about the recent speeding ticket and it went well! Less screaming and crying (wow! that's huge) She is going to spend next weekend with him at his house. She has not done that in about a year! This is all very fantastic to me:) there is just a positive thread moving through our home right now:)Thanks for your support!” B Los Angeles, CA July 2011
“Susan, I think of you so often and always with such gratitude and affection. You taught me so much in such a short period of time and I continue to use that knowledge in my practice and life. Every time I have another professional success I think of you. Huge hugs and a thousand blessings to you, dear friend. Xoxoox” Emily Gould, Esq.
“Thank you Susan. I appreciate your support more than you may know. “This is so wonderful. Yesterday her text and our conversation were like we used to have in the days before things went a little sideways. You are instrumental in showing her (and me) how to step into and use our personal power right now – when it counts. She is lovely and she is loved; and she and I both know that this moment is pivotal in her life for the rest of her life – with her husband, the kids, her relationship to herself and the world. She gets it – and so do I. We have been working a lot, doing many things for many years and we do see and appreciate the intelligence and accessibility of your coaching. Must be like…being at the right place at the right time. J She feels supported and on the right track. I am so happy that she chose to have the courage to act and that you were able to be there for her! September 2011 Kathy L Santa Barbara, CA
“Thanks; I talked to her late last night, and it actually went very well. Both were able to clear the air and say things that we needed to say. Then we were able to move on, talk about what we have both been doing the past month for fun. It went better then I could have expected. It was weird when finished we had such a better understanding, and know each other better then we ever have. This is the best things have been since we were both first married; thanks again for everything.” JA Los Angeles, CA
August 2012 “Susan, I can’t tell you how much more relaxed and focused I have become in last week...I think these supplements are really working.” Lee E. Denver CO
June 2012 “Out of the blue, my business partner called a meeting to discuss the state of the company with our other partner. The purpose of the meeting was for each person to tell what they did not like about the other! Talk about being put on the spot, this was it. I was able to smoothly and elegantly explain my ‘safekeeping and rational self’ and how it does not mix with the other two who are in the experimental and feeling self group. In summary, they don't follow the rules and we are running a business, not a country club, and I am the sheriff. They did not know what to say! I thank you for your advice.” Regards, Kristine W. Santa Barbara CA
June 2012 “This is the 4th night of sleeping without a pill. Around midnight I got up and tossed and turned thoughts going wild and I was able to turn them to a peaceful state and fell right back to sleep. I got up this morning for the first time in weeks with optimism. I am intent on living a med free life especially since I don't believe it is doing anything for me. You are helping me!” Jack D San Francisco, CA
July 2012 “We are laying in a good base. The supplements are working. The new thinking is working. Part of it is me just accepting where I am now.” Anonymous
“You constantly amaze me. Thank you for your many insights, I learn something from you with every interaction we have!” October 2011 P. Murray Los Angeles, CA
“Susan, this really worked! Thank you! My Mom and Dad got along all weekend” SF 7 year old, San Fernando Valley, CA
“Things are good with me. I'm in love and in a mutually loving and respectful relationship!! I’m still focusing on achieving my other goals that we created together. I wanted to acknowledge how much our work together supported me in the most difficult time of my life thus far. I offer my deepest gratitude to you and our work together; sending you much love.” Jennifer P. Los Angeles, CA
“Yesterday’s conversation was really powerful for me—so much so that I negotiated chores with my daughter in a way that left us both feeling satisfied and cared for.” Christine R. NY 9/2010
May 2012: I think of you often with love and gratitude. :) I really appreciate you and all you helped me to accomplish!! Forever grateful, Susan Narum, Arizona
“Since I began my work with Susan Allan about 6 months ago and have learned her Goal-reaching Skills© I have closed a $20,000,000 deal and a $6,400,000 deal and now have been offered a $17,000,000 opportunity. This really works and when I use these new skills, it’s so easy!” D.A., Bank of America, Northern California
May 2011 “Thank you, Susan for all of your help. We are enjoying our new baby and exploring the landscape of our new relationship. It isn’t always easy, but we’ve come a long way. Thanks again.” Terence
February 2012 “Within minutes, Susan Allan figured out why I wasn’t getting the results I desired because of my thinking. She showed me where I needed to put my focus in order to get the results I wanted. Susan is very easy to work with, non-judgmental, and incredibly insightful. Within 24 hours, I had an excellent resume and a job interview lined up. I would highly recommend Susan. I loved her innate ability to cut to the core of the issues I was having so quickly and gently guide me into the direction I needed to be. I’m sure she has saved me years of struggle. I am very grateful for her help.” Kathy Rex, New Albany, OH
March 2010 “Hi Susan, I just wanted to let you know that I had a very successful and harmonious meeting with J-- today! We came to an agreement about my name being first. In the 3 years that we have been working together, this was the best and most productive meeting we have ever had. She said that she didn't want to seem condescending, but that she was really proud of the work I am doing and how focused I am. I feel so empowered by the work we have been doing; so many shifts in such a short period of time. Yay! Thank you. Have a great weekend and I'll speak with you on Monday. Xo JP Los Angeles, CA
“I am, for the first time in my life, dealing with less stress and sadness when I have no plan/chore ahead of me. I guess that to me translate in "the present is fine". The supplements I was prescribed by Mary are amazing, I am more positive, more focused and I am not triggered as easily by things that do not go the way I want or expect. Also my cravings have diminished, particularly the one for sugar. At night, when I usually eat to numb myself, I seem to be fine with a sensitive portion of food and a snack later on.” Anna G.; LA, CA July 2011
March 2010 “Dear Susan, I thought you were brutally and helpfully honest with me, and totally amazing. Thank you so much for the session - I really value and appreciate your wisdom and tough love. And, I'd like to hear more of your work to get a deeper understanding of the logic you use in your thinking and when communicating. I believe you said you do a TV and radio show - did you send me info on those, or would you please? Thank you! Warmly, and in gratitude,” L K Lompoc, CA
“Being president of a small but ever growing business has proven challenging over the years. I am a creative type, and therefore not always able (or willing…shhhhh!) to focus on business issues that take me away from being my creative self, which is a heck of a lot more fun and inspiring. Wearing the hat of human resources, sales executive, manager, financial planner and then shrink to my growing number of employees was, and is daunting. Running in place became habit, and communication suffered, both with staff, and ultimately even with clients. Then I met Susan Allan: focus; amazing focus. Not only did Susan make a commitment to talk through issues with me, but also with my staff. What I gained has been invaluable. Confronted with a challenge or an obstacle, my first stop is Susan. ‘Here’s the situation’ leads to dialogue that gains me insight, offers me possible solutions, allows me to try out communication styles until I can establish a clear path that leads to non-confrontational conversations with end goals being met in a win/win outcome for all parties involved. Susan is direct, motivating, clear…but more than that, she cares. Every conversation has been supportive. Do I always hear what I want to hear? No. But what I do hear is truth presented to me intelligently and respectfully. I have gained much. My employees have gained much. My business is in a much better place after meeting and working with Susan. Andrea Michaels CEO Extraordinary Events www.extraordinaryevents.net
“I have been re-listening to our coaching sessions; its so very helpful for me to record!! I make up the story that I am a monster. And I am not! When I re-listen it gives me a good perspective and I can hear what you are telling me clearly. I always need to re=listen, re—read.” Kathy L Santa Barbara, CA
“Just hired a writing coach to help with my book, meeting with Golden Door to work out details of my position (already hired), and continuing to build a busy practice. Yay!!! Thanks for all of your help!” Dr. Trevor Holly Cates, Naturopathic Physician Santa Barbara, CA; Park City, UT January, 2010
March, 2010 "Susan Allan is the consummate professional. She is a trusted friend and I am proud to recommend her and blessed to have found her for myself. They say: “When the student is ready, the Master will appear”. She is a highly skilled coach…a Master. If you can take the heat of examining your life, Susan can coach you to the success you are looking for." Service Category: Personal Trainer Year first hired: 2003 Top Qualities: Great Results, Expert, Good Value David Drake, Florida
“Thank you for being a part of my life at JDI; your advice, caring and friendship mean the world to me” John Daly, John Daly International Inc.Event Planning: “Big fun is Serious Business” Las Vegas, NV and Santa Barbara, CA
“Here are the recent successes; spending an additional evening with my older son; being able to coach my younger son for an additional hour; coming over 2 hours early to cook dinner for the kids on Sunday. All successes involved a dialogue in which these favors were entirely irrespective of my needs, but rather, were only for the kids' needs. It appears that if my requests are clearly selfless, she has conceded, providing she can busy herself with some other activity anyway.”Mark S. Santa Barbara, CA
"All the situations that looked impossible a few weeks ago are turning around; my financial situation, my marriage, and my career! The way I used Self- empathy to not be triggered and respond; even the people around me are calmer and now I'm creating a friendship with my boss!" P Thomas Santa Rosa, CA September 29, 2008
“You have helped me come so far in the time we've spoken and I know my friend will be able to find more peace and hope through the techniques and opportunities you'll introduce to her. Thanks for letting me know, and I'll send you pictures of MY NEW house once I get everything settled. Love, Susan” Susan N. AZ, February 2010
“I am so thankful that the doctor I found knew exactly what was my diagnosis, and the blood work confirmed everything. He said in two-three months I will be cured! And apparently there were MANY symptoms that I have been suffering since college, noticeable and unnoticeable, that are all caused by my condition (constant bloating, easy bruising, extremely sensitive skin, mood swings, swollen ankles, heavy and irregular periods, the list goes on).And I am thankful to YOU who allowed me to realize that there was a problem, and it wasn't "in my head" as my father and husband were certain. Things have been great otherwise and I have been using the skills you taught me to create a better environment and life”! Warmest wishes, Rachel P NYC March 2012
“I have survived the 12 days while my husband was away…although I did suffer a few panic attacks while he was away, I am so thankful that the doctor I found knew exactly what was my diagnosis, and the blood work confirmed everything. He said in two-three months I will be cured! And apparently there were MANY symptoms that I have been suffering since college, noticeable and unnoticeable, that are all caused by my condition (constant bloating, easy bruising, extremely sensitive skin, mood swings, swollen ankles, heavy and irregular periods, the list goes on).And I am thankful to YOU who allowed me to realize that there was a problem, and it wasn't "in my head" as my father and husband were certain. Things have been great otherwise and I have been using the skills you taught me to create a better environment and life!” Rachel March 2012
“Susan Allan has not only been a columnist for our publication, Santa Barbara Family Life Magazine for the past several years, but she has also become a personal friend whom I admire and respect. .I have enjoyed watching her reinvent herself after her own divorce. Instead of being knocked down by the experience she found a way to use what she learned to assist others who were going through difficult challenges in their relationship. She teaches clients how to use integrity when unresolved difficulties threaten a marriage so the resolution is peaceful and respectful. She is a woman with an amazing talent for understanding and empathizing with people from all walks of life. Susan shows great compassion in her work and shares her gifts and talents generously with those whose lives she touches. She has dedicated her life to making a difference. I am thrilled that she is continuing to share her wisdom and personal journey with the rest of us.” Nansie Chapman Publisher/Editor Santa Barbara Family Life Magazine
“Oh guess what else...I just got my signed application from Kenco Engineering that I was to get today by 5pm...I DID!!!!! So cool. I just made another goal... Pacific Truck Colors signs my application by 5pm, Thursday, November 6th, 2008!” LC Portland, OR
“I have been meaning to write you to thank you for the assistance you have given our family. Much has shifted since you have worked with Ian and Brandi and I am greatly appreciative. Howard Wills also gave me a fabulous healing and I look forward to meeting him when he comes to Santa Barbara in June. The body, mind, spirit are vibrant and well. Again, I am deeply grateful for the gifts you have shared with us and the healing that has occurred. Sincerely” Ayn Cates Sullivan
“My sessions with Susan have had a profound impact on my life. She identified the most important issues I was facing and gave me perspective and support. She helped me deal with and turn around a potentially dangerous situation that seemed impossible to resolve - especially as I was several thousand miles away from the crisis. Now my eldest son after years of denial and desperate behaviour is attending AA meetings and my other son is facing his addiction to computer games and debt and is working up to 12 hours a day so he can change his life around too. I am forever grateful for Susan's devotion to her path of assisting people with living their best lives and achieving their true potential and for her dedication to the teaching of communication skills that truly make a difference” KT Bath, England
“Hi Susan, I'm sending this to you - so inspired by this whole brain thinking -- this left-brained blessing happened to prompt me to get my rear in gear. It was good for my self-worth! I do have ground to stand on! Can you believe I didn't have the left brain balance to even have a portfolio? I wanted to give you credit for me being able to notice the portfolio as a left brained thing and now I do see it's great importance. How do I land a job with someone who doesn't know anything about my work unless they can see it? Thank you thank you! Thank you SO much for it all.” L R, Lompoc, CA
“As a member of the Association of Conflict Resolution (ACR) and the Associate Executive Director of the Los Angeles County Bar Association, Dispute Resolution Services Inc., I highly recommend Susan Allan. Susan Allan brings an innovative approach to “Collaborative Divorce Mediation”. Ms. Allan is refreshing in her consumer-friendly approach. She is a new voice in the collaborative mediation arena and definitely needs to be heard by our membership. Ms. Allan is one of the top leading experts and practitioners in Southern California utilizing collaboration in divorce mediation. This is a new and growing field. I highly recommend Susan Allan to present at our annual conference.” Deborah A. Thomas, Associate Executive Director, Los Angeles County Bar association, Dispute resolution Service Inc. February 22, 2006
“I just finished a 2 hour writing session! I seriously haven't done that for years. Thanks so much for helping me with that. Really a huge breakthrough and I got a ton of work done.” D. A. Los Angeles, CA 1/2011
“I want to thank you so much for the wonderful work you have put into our past two sessions. I meant to write to you last week to let you know that I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to spend an hour on the phone getting me "up to speed" with your useful methods; the work you and my partner have been doing, and addressing my concerns. The session we had was very helpful to me and to my partner. I truly am so amazed and surprised by all of the changes I see in him. I feel true happiness because we seem to appreciate each other in a new and improved way. Thank you, thank you! Have a great week” AA Los Angeles, CA 10/2010
Dear Susan, Thank you; I am one of the luckiest human being on earth. I am still trying to know the effect of neurofeedback, I have sent a e-mail for my sister ( the one who does not talk to me) about you. I hope you can open doors for her. Also I still do not know how I feel about sugar. I have been working since I have been back that lack of sleep makes me to eat sugar sometime but I have to tell you I do not over eat at all. MM Atlanta, GA 2010
“Thanks for the business idea! I was recently thinking of all the wonderful things that have happened and come into my life, and how much more capacity I have to recognize and appreciate them, and I'm filled with gratitude for our work together. This road has been so much fun to be on, and I find myself amazed so often. I find myself very regularly referring to things we talked about, or things that you introduced me to, and I'm so deeply grateful for the foundation and direction we established for me. It has been truly enjoyable to move forward and see all the unexpected opportunities that arise. And I wanted to make sure you knew that I really appreciate you!!! Thank you! Love” Susan N. in AZ 2010
“Susan, (I) can't thank you enough. Best 75 minutes I have spent in years. Wish I had called you sooner but at least we can work together moving forward.” Joseph M. Virginia, June 2011
“I know that much of what got me through the last three or four of these surgeries was the fact that I thought positive thoughts and never let it get me down. I missed not even two days of work with all of the surgeries combined. Have the surgery, spend the night in the hospital, rest one day (maybe) at home, and get back to it. Why not? I’m convinced that this was partially what was responsible for quick recoveries. And I add to that the support of people like you, Susan. I will never forget the healing you gave me the night before the most major of the surgeries nor that you arose at 4 a.m. to offer me another healing on the way to the hospital. What I received from you was true mental healing; the physical took care of itself. All the positive energy both external and internal healed me quickly and gave me the will to beat the cancer. And I did. And I will again. You have taught me much about goal setting and Goal- reaching©. My goal is to overcome illness and adversity. So I do. I do not stress; I do not panic; I do not allow any negativity to enter my mind regarding my health. I accept it as a small (VERY small) challenge that I will meet and put in its proper place, another bump in the road as they say. I’ve almost come to view the surgeries as the only times the cell phone and blackberry cannot reach me, and thus it is restful. If your client would like to talk to me about cancer, recovery, etc, I am always available. Andrea
“Susan Allan’s unique mediation model adds two new components to traditional mediation. The first is the immediate utilization of a certified divorce financial analyst or CPA specializing in dissolution or CPA in non-divorce issues. With this strategy, mediation time is cut in half as appropriate financial and legal guidelines are offered to both parties. The second is her use of Nonviolent Communication SM which has the mediator “translate” critical and judgmental words into the unmet needs of each party. As I have observed when working with Susan, this allows real compassion to grow in the most challenging of environments. She has assisted many of my clients to resolve their issues in a sane, economical and timely way.” Deanie Kramer, Certified Mediator and Mediator for Divorce Court Television; President Dispute Resolution Specialists, Inc. and Divorce Resource, Inc. www.DeanieKramer.com
TESTIMONIALS FROM WWW.OPRAH.COM/OWN JULY 2010
rickandlinda: Really enjoyable and clear. It makes me feel like I can do it and have the relationship I really want. Well presented and logical.
ffanali: I think this would be a fantastic show. Susan seems to clarify so much of the confusion about getting one's needs met in all relationships. So needed!! I would love to see it and hear more about this. Thank you Susan for the wonderful work you're doing. Francine (Santa Monica, CA)
bbennitt: I can see that Susan has a wealth of useful, practical knowledge that would make an amazing show that I would definitely tune in to watch! These seem to be life skills that are universal needed but which I have never heard of before. I hope I get to learn more!
Starfire2012: Yes..!! I really enjoyed the clarity and simplicity of this offered model.. Life is occurring within a field of connection and relationship(s)..Would love to experience more of what you are offering and pray that you are selected. I'm in Santa Barbara and will connect with you.. Thanks.. and Best of luck.. Starfire..
peggyellen: This information and approach is so needed. We are so often locked into our own worldview and cannot see another person's perspective. Keep sharing this information wherever you can. Thanks, Peggy Phillips PhD candidate in prenatal and perinatal psychology
rebeccasetareh: In this day and age we live in, filled with complexities and challenges in our lives and relationships...A show of this nature could be so uplifting and helpful in improving the quality of our lives. Susan definitely has the knowledge and skills to bring forth a change people deserve in their lives...I myself will be glued to the TV Screen when her show comes on and will have others join in with me...Many Blessings, Rebecca S K
bbbbgggg: Susan Allan is a most incredible and exceptional person. She does what no other person can do. With all her knowledge, training, education, experience, and expertise she has the abilities to assist people with their mind problems and their life challenges. This includes such areas as moving people from inability to ability. From attack to survival in the most dangerous situations. From how the mind works to working the mind with positive results. As a life coach and a marriage coach she has helped many people overcome the challenges of fear, inability, and stuckness. She has moved people from a terrible and disastrous marriage to a life-saving divorce. And from divorce to freedom. Susan Allan is one of a kind. Thank you and thank God. Rev Bernard Goodman.
pjn411: Good Luck.. I hope you get to share your knowledge to the world .. We need someone like you to help to make this world a better place ( like it used to be ) Wishing you the best Pam
sneakoscop: This is great stuff! I hope you have the chance to share it with more people via the Oprah Show. I know I'd like to learn more.
talk2roz: Loved the presentation, Susan, and seeing you do your thing! Great content!
DrThadJacobs: Susan is a breath of fresh air! Susan walks the walk and talks the talk, teaching you how to have more joyful and satisfying relationships. In addition, she uses these same principles to help you attain your life goals through the whole brain thinking model. She truly is a wonderful, powerful teacher.
nanni44: I have spent so many years going to therapy, seminars, etc Now Susan helps me live up to the principles/knowledge I have acquired
sassysmile: Susan is a pro who knows this material and delivers it in a heart centered way. I so admire her compassion for people and the planet.
Additional Testimonials from Clients
“I appreciated our session today, and as a result of what you have mentioned at the end, I have gained this deep compassion for Neil who seems so lost, lonely and sad. Before, I just saw everything from my point of view only, and am wondering how is this any different from what Christ asked his followers to do...Thanks again” Julie E. Westlake, CA
Susan, I find myself whistling, humming tunes, and generally happier and more optimistic! I can't believe what is happening! You're a Magician- you are wonderful! What you are helping me with is working wonders! Thank you, Jack D. Agoura Hills, CA June 2009
“The most astonishing thing ....I have been on time for every meeting I've been to since I started your Time Management Alarm Program. . Yay! When the alarm goes off, I do THAT thing, and I don't bother questioning it, because I set the schedule the day before - hopefully, while I was in my right mind! ha ha. That coupled with your brilliant line of "I'm not living my life out of I DON'T WANNA ANYMORE" - is working pretty well. p.s. The most hilarious thing ... Friday I had a lunch appt with friends who have taken me out for a birthday lunch every year for EVER. We've been doing it for at least 15 years. I don't think I've ever once been on time. I arrived precisely at 1:00 and I was the only one there. I soon realized they had lied to me about the start time, which I thought was hilarious. But even more hilarious was I met my dad, stepmom and half-brother for dinner for her birthday the same night at 5:30.
Again, I was there right on time and was the only one there! Ha HAH! We all had a great laugh over it.” LB Los Angeles, CA January 2010
“Thank you SO much, Susan!! I was thrilled to be able to share the good news with you about the grant award from the W P.M Foundation. So many good things happening all of a sudden -- all because of YOU! Love, Karen Lee Stevens, All For Animals, Santa Barbara, CA June 2011
“Dear Susan, It was a pleasure to meet you as well. Thank you for doing the work that you do .I wish I could explain to you just how significant not only this work is, but how significant YOU are to me. You see, I know that I'm still very young in the world (at least in terms of this lifetime!) and I have a lot to learn. Yet I find myself, somewhat to my own amazement, in the role of teacher to a lot of other women (and men, too)! I recognize that I have some understanding, but that my understanding is still very imperfect. What I realize now is that I know how to do so many things - EXCEPT give self-empathy. The method that you teach clearly makes it easier to give empathy to others, so I don't want to overlook the importance of that. I just want to express that in everything that I have studied, and really worked on, I got the empathetic listening part down - EXCEPT when I am triggered! And of course, in so many ways, that's the only time that counts. There's one other thing I really want to thank you for. I have searched high and low for an example of a woman that I could point to and say, "I want to be like HER." I mean it - you have no idea of the search I have conducted. I was starting to feel downright lonely. It's depressing and disappointing when you know you aren't where you want to be but you feel like you've learned everything the people around you had to teach you. It's disheartening because you know that can't be true - I must have missed something, because I know this state cannot be the highest I can go. And since beginning to learn from you, for the first time in a long, long time, I feel like the world is new again. There's a whole new school for me to go to, and a great example of what I can aspire to- a woman who has managed to master these skills herself. So thank you for that. Much love to you” Los Angeles, CA October 2009
March 2010 “Hi Susan, I am practicing and it's helping big time. My Brain knows I need to do this now! I am developing the Maturity to practice winning relationships so that I can. A big help is you showing me that I must think and speak in the Positive and rewrite my tape until I feel the Win/Win, that’s what I get now. Now when I feel problems, I keep rephrasing the problem until I feel at peace with the situation.
Best regards,” Mary O. Houston, TX
“Tonight my husband was out of town, I picked my son up from school with flu and the other son was feeling overwhelmed and having a complete emotional meltdown. I was frustrated, angry, and wanted to scream at my son to stop. I took a deep breath, calmed myself down and was able to calm him down, take care of the older one with the flu and create calm and peace. I want to cry right now I am so happy. Thank you”. AW Los Angeles, CA October 2009
“I just wanted to share with you my success. Two sessions ago we spoke about working on my upper left brain and it’s been my major focus since then. In that time, I interviewed with three companies for behavioral therapist positions I have interest in as well as work as a Director of a Gym for a friend who owns a couple. I've done number crunching like I've never done before and it really opened my eyes! To get real with pay and salaries, factor in childcare, driving, taxes etc., I have an entirely new view of how eye-opening and liberating it can be to educate myself in this way. That said, my friend wanted to hire me but simply offered a salary that was lackluster and hours that did not meet my family's needs. If I hadn't run the numbers I would not have realized how much a Gross salary shrinks when expenses are taken into account.
- The first therapy company offered training with them and yet their hours and pay were even worse; horrible, actually. At that point I became more focused on getting what I wanted, knowing that I was an employable person and I needed to know my own worth and get it.
- The second company was okay, nothing special, and I didn't hear back from them.
- BUT then, the third company called me for an interview for last Friday and they were my first choice from the beginning of my search. They offered the most incredible set of benefits, reasonable hours, work ONLY near my home, and pay even for my driving time between clients which no one else offers. Their office was fabulously beautiful, the people seemed happy, were so cordial, and the interview was so smooth I couldn't have scripted it better.
- After not hearing from them, knowing that their next training would begin this Monday, I emailed them on Thursday as a follow-up. I was told that another woman was reviewing my file and would contact me soon.
- All day today I told myself that by 2pm I would receive the call and be offered the job with the specific pay and benefits I needed. And at 1:28 she called and did just that.
- On Monday I begin my two weeks of training for a full-time 30-40 hr/week job as a Behavioral Therapist with Autistic children.
- It offers ample opportunities for working my way up to Supervisor level and for salary increases as well.
- The company also has offices as far west as where my boyfriend lives so I can continue to work for them when I make the move more in his direction.
- Thanks to my mother, I have the support I need to be incredibly excited and optimistic about this very new lifestyle.
I feel so much more relaxed as I realize that my need for greater financial security and access to good health & dental insurance is soon to be met since this company offers a full benefits package? THANK YOU. Again : ) love JM Los Angeles, CA
“Dear Susan, I wake up in the morning now, and look forward to my day-to my new challenges, and to my new way of life...you can teach old dogs new tricks! Thanks to you! Do you have a foundation? Are you taking on interns? Is this a possibility? I can't believe this! Pinch me! PINCH ME! I am so happy! I can't wait to clean up my mess; and get on with my life, and my new career-Yaaaahooooo!!!! Thank you, Susan! In true love and gratitude GC; Northern California,
I can't tell you how painful and shameful that is to admit; but also how freeing it is to finally acknowledge! You cannot place blame anymore!!!! Susan will take you through a whole series of challenges-she challenges your self respect; your pride; your ego; your sense of self worth-it's like a boot camp for your soul!!! And at times, it is extremely uncomfortable-like nothing you've every experienced before...she can leave you raw and exposed; and feeling like you want a "blanky" and a pacifier afterwards! As difficult as this is, she is there 100% to coddle you, and comfort you afterward, and explain to you everything that you are feeling and thinking. She is a remarkable teacher...she has an immense amount of insight and intuition, and a store house of knowledge, and references. She is truly the best teacher I've ever encountered! I just want you to know that you are the best part of my life. I look forward every morning, and throughout the day, to getting one of your inspiring email's. I am so grateful to you in helping me change my life-I will never be the same again; and I have hope and a new found grace to enter the future, and all the wonderful possibilities that are ahead of me. I don't even want to think about how this all would have ended without your help; and I am so impressed that because of your own suffering, that you have chosen to pass your wisdom and knowledge on to other people that are going through a divorce! What a noble and inspiring gift! I thank God for you...you are truly an angel! With love” Gina Crippa Santa Ynez, CA
“Susan, this session with you has been the most important hour of my life!”YA, Irvine, CA
“Thank you Susan; you walk your talk! I met Susan Allan when I moved to Santa Barbara in May. Among other things, I shared with her a vision of my Santa Barbara "dream house" which I hoped to manifest on an impossibly small budget. But I am an optimist. About a week ago, Susan emailed me with information on a cottage that was available through someone she had just met. The outcome of this is that I now have that dream house, and at a price I can afford. With much love and appreciation.” Peter Santa Barbara, CA
Hi Susan, I imagine that you are having a fabulous day and having a wonderful impact on all the people whom are involved with you. I want to share the continued improvement and success that is now happening in increasing my ability to utilize self empathy and empathy towards M. ….I will tell you the way my voice was and what happened in that communication has only happened one other time in my life- My voice dropped to a level that was only for her and I and it was as if a tunnel was created straight to her and that know one else was even there, including the man that was sitting 2 feet away. She called awhile later after she got off work and we spoke for 2 1/2 hours, covered virtually everything- which was wonderful. I felt the entire conversation I brought myself first to peace and continued to give her empathy, understanding, and compassion. I was being a good listener. She told me that about an hour before that she had a break from clients and was and looking out at the beautiful weather and that I came into her mind and she wondered if I would ever come in there. She said she was in complete shock when an hour later I walked in. At the end of our conversation I thanked her and let her know how much I appreciated her talking with me. It was left that there is a lot for us both to digest and that we would talk again soon. We have not spoken since and I KNOW THAT THIS IS A HUGE SHIFT AND I NEED TO HAVE SUPREME PATIENCE.I am hopeful and continuing to do the affirmations and self empathy throughout the day. Thank you for all your wisdom and what you do and share with the world and me! Much love, Steven Garren Los Angeles, CA April 2009
My journey brought me to this lost soul in California where something divine happened. My compassion for humanity allowed this soul to be liberated from persecution. At the time this soul allowed for my self-discovery of Oneness; a concept that was presented only once in my life before by you, a concept that I did not pursue nor question, but it is now a belief that I would now die for. This liberated soul (really me now through Oneness of course) said I would be the gateway for other lost souls of destiny, as she already was, as I feel you are. She also said these lost souls will find me. I did not know what to make of it at the time, but everything becomes more clear as time goes by. Once again, the beautiful story that has been told time and time again repeats itself. All the Best, Tuan, CA April 2009
“Susan....Thank you for appearing in my life... I am grateful knowing such beautiful women exist in my world. The gift of calling in, being guided, & waking up to my excellent qualities of living a full life to be blessed by you and G.. My question; Am I a family man or a freedom man..? This is strange to me. that I do not know my answer. A full brain decision is crucial for this one.... I want to know this decision is not another pattern or habit that I am caught in. Making this choice from the ten bodies and four selves of my entire full clear intelligent/heart/soul being ....Moving out of G's, I discovered how I create "scarcity" as a tool to activate Decision & Feeling within.. This action pattern allows me to go "without" so I begin to notice what my deepest yearnings are calling me towards. Strange pattern of using feeling as my tool... I want to equalize & balance this motion of knowing my mind is just as proficient as my heart in decision making... Thank you for gifting me; moments of your life and sending me notes.... Ah, life is so beautiful and blessed...” Michael
November 2008 “Well it worked again! The power of attraction and the universe as one was indeed proven again to me even though I am by nature a skeptical thinker. I got the house I wanted, at the price I wanted and thanks for everything.” CG Colorado
November 2008 “Susan's teachings have not only provided me with new tools to better interact and communicate with others, but have also given me skills to bring peace upon myself - thanks to Susan, my entire outlook on life has changed . . . . and it shows in my improved relationships to others - privately and professionally. With love and deep gratitude.” Claudia in LA, CA
“You wrote: in February, “If I said, ‘Chris doesn’t love you’ you would pay no attention, If I said, ‘do you have enough evidence about Jay to stake your life on it so far’ you would feel worried.” Dearest Susan, I want to thank you for your support, honesty, and deep commitment to everyone's well being. You were right, of course :-) , again, were the most grounded, WISE, presence for me throughout that process....though I didn't realize it at the time. So, I respect you enormously...much love; I want to thank you, deeply, because you were one of the very few people who really tried hard to get my attention, to help me focus and learn about what was at stake, and who had MUCH more wisdom than I did myself. I have had enormous pain as a result of my choices, and great regret that there was not more wisdom for me before we got a divorce. He moved here, we shared a house for 6 months, and a few days before last Christmas I asked him to leave. No, I did not have enough evidence to stake my life on "it", and yes, I always deeply and truly loved my husband (nor did I "love" my boyfriend in the way I thought I did)-and now know how to better love myself as a result of all this. Good news is, we are back together...deeply, happily, and peacefully. Full of growth, learning, commitment (in a way I never understood before), happiness, and great celebration of one another. We have been very brave and vulnerable together to achieve this, but it has been easy--in the sense of "easy" because we understand and complement each other so well. We both have a very great appreciation for one another--I, for one, have a much much deeper appreciation for my husband than I ever had before. I want to thank you for trying your very best. I think if we had continued the counseling, chances are good, the divorce would never have been finalized. Much much gratitude and love to you Susan.... Thank you again, dear, wise woman. Love” Rachel C. Moscow, ID
“My advice is, when in doubt; always ask Susan Allan, the Relationship Coach, First! Her advice is spot on, her lessons in Non-violent communication skills can improve any aspect of your life! She is what we all need and that inner voice we all seek! Thank you, Susan! Your coaching was great with the lawyer today! Thank you so much for your spot-on advice and coaching work to help me manage my attorney. You gave me credibility and confidence and your advice made all the difference! I followed your guidelines for consultation and research and the attorney in my lawsuit against my contractor even remarked "That is exactly how it should be done!" You are the best; kudos of thanks. Sincerely, Linea Harvey, New Canaan, CT
“Through your training, I have gained skills that have helped me in both my personal and business lives. Most recently, I entered into negotiation over a technology development agreement with the most prestigious technology company in the world. Stakes were high, and we were near an impasse. I had been instructed by our CEO to make a call that would give them a polite, but serious ultimatum. Not wanting to stall what momentum we had, I decided to script the call based on NVC. In my opening statement I effectively stated the perceived risks and needs of the other party, and then went on to our perceived risks and needs. By doing this, I dramatically reduced tension, and set the groundwork for a conversation leading to a contract. The amount on the table was about $160M, and to say my CEO was pleased was a gross understatement. The buyer has now faxed me their letter of interest for between 1.5M and 2.5M of our product per year! Thank you, Susan, for your help in teaching me NVC! It is Golden” Jerome Wiedmann, VP Marketing, Santa Barbara, CA
Service Category: Career Coach
Year first hired: 2007 (hired more than once)
Top Qualities: Great Results, Expert, High Integrity
"I first met Susan following significant changes in my personal life that had shaken my world to the core. Susan came highly recommended to me from a personal friend and business associate as someone who could help me get my life back on track both personally and professionally. I found her to be direct while also showing sensitivity to my situation. Her excellent listening skills and insights to my natural strengths, as well as the areas I needed to strengthen helped me accept her career coaching with confidence. I am now making the choices in my life building on a stronger and more defined understanding of who I am and what's important to me much in part to Susan. Thank you." Bobbi Jo Free Ventura, CA
Service Category: Career Coach
Year first hired: 2007
Top Qualities: Personable, High Integrity, Creative "I was fortunate enough to have worked with Susan one-on-one, which was a tremendous help in my business as well as my personal life. She is a very positive in her approach and tells it like it is. After talking to Susan I felt energized. Thanks for the help. Since I met her I have diversified into several areas including writing proposals for several aerospace suppliers. I’ve also started to be a book agent; and have an option to work with a company that produces jets and my wife and I are moving!” ” Vic Swatsek"
“There is no coincidence that my real estate career taking a jump matched the same time that I started working with Susan Allan, the Real Estate Coach. Susan has stretched and gotten me to look at opening my heart to new ways of generating business. The ideas she comes up with are nothing short spectacular; like painting my office. I've wanted to do this for years and the idea laid dormant in my mind until Susan said OK, let's do it ...so now I have a fresh inviting office which shows my clientele that I do care. I can hardly wait for the next awakening of my spirit from Susan. What is clear to me is that Susan is committed to having my business soar to new heights. Did I mention I just closed escrow on the 3rd largest sales EVER and deposited $70,000 into my corporate checking account on exactly the day that I said I would do it when I wrote my goals?” Chris Casebeer, Casebeer & Company, Inc Since 1973 Your Source for Santa Barbara, CA Real Estate
Service Category: publishing
Year first hired: 2007 (hired more than once)
Top Qualities: Great Results, Personable, Expert
"I have personally known Susan my entire life. When visiting her in Santa Barbara, I met a few professional business owners who had tremendous results with Susan's coaching. My husband and I have a publishing business and thought we could use some guidance. I would have thought being a friend for my entire life might present a problem in us both staying focus and directed. Through our coaching we were able to make many positive changes in the way we handled certain business situations. I highly recommend that you work with Susan. She is just wonderful and the results speak for themselves" Nancy Feller; owner Black Tie Publishing Plantation, FL
“I am an attorney and motivational speaker in Puerto Rico, being trained as a relationship coach by Susan Allan. After 8 sessions, I am now being hired by a local corporation in Puerto Rico; and I am being paid $1500 to deliver a 2 hour seminar this month. It took me about 5 hours to negotiate and complete the agreement!”Noel Morales, San Juan and Mayaguez, Puerto Rico L.I.F.E Peak Performance Leadership Integration For Executives
"Susan is an amazing woman and an innovator. She made certain that in the midst of divorce all of our families emotional needs were met with peace. She worked closely with me to be sure that I landed on safe ground and treated my former wife with respect and empathy. She helped me accomplish a 50/50 child custody settlement and helped us find the groundwork to successful co-parenting of two young children."
Service Category: peaceful divorce settlement
Year first hired: 2004 (hired more than once)
Top Qualities: Expert, High Integrity, Creative Steve Garren Los Angeles, CA
"I needed to find a coach who is tremendously loving and who could also challenge me on my "stuff." Susan Allan is just that kind of miracle. Her honesty, integrity, insight and humor have allowed me to make leap years of progress. She's the "real deal." When you're facing big challenges and you need help, you need someone with good instincts. Susan has great instincts. I am eternally grateful for my work with her."
Suzanne Lerner, Ph.D. Fairfax, CA
“I love u ; God bless u I would have once again gone with my emotions!!!! Appreciate the clarity and knowledge u offer!!!” RS Los Angeles, CA text message after a successful mediation session 9/17/09
Service Category: Writer/Editor
Year first hired: 2004 (hired more than once)
Top Qualities: Great Results, Expert, High Integrity "Susan Allan’ Heartspace System is the proven solution to creating a peaceful life! In my work with pets I know that pets and children need a peaceful home to thrive and Susan’s work as a peace coach and America’s leading Marriage Coach is AMAZING!!! The fact that her reconciliation work is 99% successful when even one spouse works with her makes me feel hopeful about the next generation. Thank you Wendy Nan Rees"
“Everything is wonderful! We're making this "the year of our marriage!" We've put so much into our careers and our kids and other goals all these years, but have sacrificed putting energy into our relationship. We sat down and wrote down our goals and what we would do to manifest them together. At the top of our lists was LOVE/MARRIAGE. We're both feeling very much in love with each other! Thank you for asking, and thank you for your support!” LBK Pacific Palisades, CA
“As always, your personal response is much appreciated. For years, I've followed your ideas, instructions, advice and direction. I'm debt free, own a home with no mortgage and I'm prepared for the most difficult road ahead. Two years to finalize my degree.
According to my son, I'm the coolest mom in town. Thank you, thank you; thank you”. Maria Corrales
“I have applied Susan Allan's techniques in the key aspects of our company to great economic advantage and the development of our team!” Geoffrey Talbot CEO Statmon, Beverly Hills CA
“Thanks so much for being part of the team-based resurrection of our business and our personal lives. You were really the pivot. Given my intentions and hopes, you might imagine how important that has been. May your 2009 be a wonderful one, and may the humans use more spiritual, social and emotional intelligence than ever before. ” Blessings, Roger J
2010: “Your support of our transition has been profound. Students were ready, teacher showed up and we are now living a transformed experience. Whole brain is working better all the time — communication too. We are holding the intent that 2010 is that year where the evidence of the transition in human culture to peace and justice is overt. In that Oneness, Dr. Raj - Roger Jahnke Health Action Technologies
Rev. Bernard Goodman says, “Susan Allan is The avenue to success and the avenue to healing”
“Hi Susan Dear, when I was meditating this morning, I realized how very helpful it was to work with you this year. Realizing the things you pointed out about me were so true and not a good thing, I am still ardently working to delete them from my life. It’s a struggle but I can do it, I know. I am still not spreading the peace as I want to be and I am still creating upsets occasionally so I am meditating more and more and bringing myself to peace and changing some very negative habits. So thank you my friend. It’s been enlightening; wishing you love and inner peace and many blessings Happy, happy new year ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Janet
“This is clarification - if you do this process you will get the results. This offers me excitement, achievement and self-realization” William Brooks, CEO, Scilux Studios Montana
“The phone mediation session that you facilitated for my colleague and myself was just invaluable. By the end of the session we were able to understand our respective needs and express appreciation for each other in ways that are unique to each of us. We had begun to get tied up in knots with one miscommunication leading to another, so that layers of misunderstanding were being laid down one on top of another. Your approach has helped us to untie these knots and extricate ourselves from these unfortunate patterns. Thank You for the work you do and all that you bring to it.” Suzanne Riordan Board member FACT Santa Barbara, CA
“I just wanted to thank you for your help. You go above and beyond to
really add value to your service, which is much appreciated.” Kevin Bourke CEO
Bourke Wealth Management Santa Barbara, CA
“This is the story of the amazing 4 year old Meir! Last night as I was tucking him in to bed he decided he needed to turn on his alarm clock; it has the 2 bells on top! This morning around 7:30, I was awakened by a fully dressed (in weather appropriate clothes) little boy clamoring into my room saying "TA DA!!!!!" So he was my little alarm clock today. When I got out of bed and went downstairs, I found he had made his bed, pajamas in his hamper. Did I mention that when I got out of the shower, Zoie was fully dressed and had made breakfast for Meir and herself? What a perfect morning for me, the non-morning-person! I don't know if I talked to one person today that I didn't tell this story to, as it is so adorable and amazing! Also, thank you so much for today's session. It truly was exactly what I needed and I so appreciate how in tune you were with the things that were on my mind! I feel peace right now and that is priceless!” Elizabeth Narum Minneapolis, MN
“Well I haven’t met all my goals yet but I am a whole lot closer than I was before I met you…I think of you often and thank you and God for putting us together. All my love and my sincere thanks for helping me get started again. Love, David D. Cape Cod, MA
From Dave Bates, Deputy, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department,
“The M.E.R.I.T. Program in the Los Angeles County Jail program is comprised of domestic violence offenders, including other family crimes or other crimes involving violence. Susan has added her unique model of communication by helping these inmates with an open mind, not judging their past, only steering toward a much clearer understanding of Man and Woman. We are privileged to have Ms. Allan return to our program to share her wealth of knowledge. It’s because of people like Susan that we are able to continue the work of rehabilitation of men and return them back to society as productive members i.e.: Fathers, Husbands, Leaders.”
“I practice Self-empathy and Empathy during my coaching sessions with Susan Allan. She motivated me to master them so that I would have the skills I need when any situation arose. Here is one small example of the added peace that the 6 Part Conversation© offers me: A Whole Foods employee was switching out the brown rice chafing dish and dropped all of the food labels on the floor. About 20 of them dropped onto the floor and I bent down to pick them up and he put his hand up and said, "No. I have this. I'm having a horrible day. Do you ever have one of those days when everything goes wrong?" And I stayed squatted down on the floor with him and said, "Oh, I'm imagining how frustrating that must be." And he continued to tell me all the things that had happened and I continued to give him empathy and then he dropped some more things and I smiled and he finally laughed and then he told me that his friend's wife had died of cancer. And so I gave him more empathy and finally as I was walking away, he called out to me and I turned around and he said, very loudly, very clearly, "Thank you." So to you I say thank you for teaching me this because I can see that by meeting his needs for empathy, I was able to connect in a peaceful way, make a difference in his life and even hear his gratitude. Much love, Kathleen B, Los Angeles, CA May 2010
“I read your site; very informative. I see you doing the talk show circuit. You are an excellent speaker. On top of it all, you look good and you have excellent contact with your audience.” JC San Marino Junior Alliance
“Our club is deeply appreciative of your support of our program and of your great content.” Jeff Cooper, President, The Exchange Club of Culver City, CA
“I wanted to take the time to stop and celebrate the many needs you and your work did meet for me in the past several weeks. When I was supported during my job search by your coaching services, I felt happy and grateful, because it met my need for support, action oriented solutions, encouragement and guidance. When I received networking leads via knowing you (and was hired for my job), I felt happy and honored, because it met my need for information, respect, and encouragement. When I learned about NVC, I felt happy and encouraged because it met my need to learn tools to help me communicate in a more peaceful way and create peace within myself. While my use of NVC is subtle, it is woven through my thinking and communication of all types. Often I have asked myself "What is my request?" "What need is that feeling linked to?" "How could I re-phrase this email to make sure the receiver feels heard?" and on and on. The many seeds you planted have sprouted and I am very glad to have this growth in my life. Thank you, Susan Allan, for the many gifts you have given me and that you give our world. I can't wait to see you on TV!” Sincerely Yours, Patricia R. Santa Barbara, CA
“When I met Susan Allan at a friend's home near Santa Barbara, I instantly knew she was there for me. Somehow I had attracted "The Teacher" at exactly the right time in my life. I was stuck in a very hard place. The man I had loved for 22 years and married to for 17 left my children and I for another woman. My husband is an alcoholic. Why would he do this to us, I thought. We both had great careers, a beautiful new home and 2 wonderful children 11 & 12. We loved each other etc, etc. I was very discouraged, uncommon for me. I could not get relief from The pain in my heart.
What Susan teaches is really a higher consciousness. Looking at things from our higher self. No violent communication. It has changed my life. Unconditional love and acceptance for every situation and person. It is what every person wants and needs. I am now peaceful and not depressed. I feel happy and my husband is responding extremely well to this. My hope for him is sobriety. With Susan as my coach I know a positive solution will transpire. Susan is such an encouragement. I am very thankful for having met Susan and I look forward to our continued work together. Ironically, I am a diabetic, and after working with Susan for a short time, my blood sugar is finally, after many years, under control. It may also be a medical miracle. Medicine for the future. All I can say is Thank you Susan for what you are doing; it has truly changed my life.” Sincerely Diana Alsey, CA
“You are amazing and I’m absolutely sure that millions of others will feel the same about you when they receive your guidance” Best regards, Phoenix R. London, England
From Earl R. Johnson, PhD A/Captain, NYPD, “Susan Allan, in her approach and use of Nonviolent Communication allows the family to deal with their issues in a calm and beneficial way to resolve their differences. Ms. Allan guides the family through their difficult times, making them understand their problems by getting to the heart of the cause of the breakdown of communication, her approach has saved many marriages. However not every marriage can be saved, not every family will walk away unscathed. Children will be affected, sometimes for the rest of their lives! Susan Allan, as one of the leading experts in Domestic Violence and divorce mediation, works to minimize the trauma and long term effects, her approach to family matters has proven to be successful. Ms. Allan seeks to bring the family together, stop the violence or threat thereof knowing full well that some unions will still end up in a divorce, hopefully having worked out a friendly and economical fair settlement. As a Contributor to Susan Allan's E - books, and having spent many years as a Police Officer in California, Florida, and currently with the New York City Police Department. I have experienced and counseled many families entwined in domestic violence, some of the encounters were short term, often violent. The more serious, were the years of abuse that one or more of the family members perpetrated against their loved ones.
From Bernard Goodman, former NYPD, The Bronx and Israeli PD, Jerusalem “SUSAN ALLAN is a consummate healer with numerous dynamics at her disposal.
“I am feeling closure and much gratitude for all your help of my process along the way. I am successfully divorced with a better outcome than I initially hoped for, my ex-spouse and I are communicating much better because I am able to stay in a peaceful place, and I am moving forward with my work and financial goals. Thank you, thank you, thank you. love” Debbie G Moscow, Idaho March 2009
“Last Monday after our session I got off the phone giddy with my notes, and empathy. And it didn't work AT ALL. Took a while (I'm thick) to realize he was drunk. Okay. In the morning, I re-girded my empathy and voila, textbook (results- it worked!). Even to the point that he trusted me enough to tell me he's slammed two 24s(ounce bottles) on the way home. So it goes. Last night same odd behavior and he again was drunk. I asked if he'd be willing to talk to you tonight. And he said yes. Needless to say, I'm getting a lotta practice and did not go with my gut reaction to toss him out. Yay me!” T A, General Mgr Idaho March 2009
“I am really grateful for your reaching out to my wife and the manner in which you are available. It meets my need for assistance and genuine care for the well-being of our family. You are a very special person to help us and many other people the way you do. God bless you.” Steven G. Woodland Hills, CA
“I was describing to a friend the other day how helpful you have been in coaching me through my recent loss. In my grief, I just couldn’t get my chin off my chest and my mind was whirling with “What-did-I-do?” and “How-could-this-be-happening’s?” Before we got to page one of Nonviolent Communication SM, you asked me two or three simple (which seemed to me to be pointless) questions. Then you looked at me and said, “She has a boyfriend, she’s an alcoholic, and if you want ten variations of the story you just told me, you may enjoy going to an Al-Anon meeting.” I would have bet my life you were wrong, but you weren’t and knowing this has made it easier for me to let go of many of the thoughts that had kept me from moving forward, away from all this, and along the way, although it’s very hard for me, to find a few peaceful places as I make this journey. I’ve also, maybe for the first time in my life, actually experienced unconditional love, which, by the way, you explained to me within ten minutes after we’d been introduced at a small dinner party (before I really knew what you did and before I was your client) when I asked you to help me understand the parable of the Prodigal Son. Thank you!!!” J. S. Kearny, NB
“This past year has been challenging for me and my family. During the spring when I first met you, every moment (waking and at rest) was fraught with uncertainty, heightened emotions and stress. Life had thrown me a curve ball from left field which I was not prepared to catch. At that time I found you. I want to let you know that I feel very fortunate at having you enter my life and be a part of my life experience. You helped me through a most difficult time. Your perceptions of cause and effect, and thoughts on how to best deal with such issues were instrumental. The intensity of that period has passed and I have broadened my understanding of the nature of interpersonal relationships and how to not only exist within, but expand, the nature of each relationship for the benefit of myself and others. I continue to be conscious of and work on the way I interrelate with others and with myself. So thank you Susan, for all of your efforts on my and our behalf.” Benjamin W. Carpinteria, CA
“I got more out of these 2 hours with you about saving my marriage than I have from years with my therapist- thank you, Susan. I found myself with a broken marriage, 6 figures of debt, a 50 lb. weight loss (that I will maintain if it's the last thing I do), I found myself with no career and at a dead end with a cliff in front of me. I miraculously found this woman who has so changed my life, her name is Susan Allan.. When she started her work she coached people through divorce, but she found that she much preferred helping them put things back together. Her success rate is 100% if she has JUST ONE MEMBER OF THE COUPLE WHO IS WILLING TO COMMIT TO THE WORK. Sounds unbelievable? You bet it does. Was I skeptical? Understatement. Will we stay together? Don't know yet. But regardless, she has given me back all my power and become my life coach and put me on a path towards getting everything that I have ever wanted. She does this through teaching self empathy and non- violent communication. It is not easy to change 48 years of behaviors but I am a good student. She has given us both hope and showed us how we were really treating each other and that neither party was innocent and no one was very nice, to say the least, and one was operating out of unconditional love that makes marriage and relationships magical. She is so amazing. Her energy is life-changing. She has given me a gift, and I wanted to share it on a gigantic scale. Regards, J B Studio City California
Update from Arno Jaffe, Esq. January 29, 2012
“I am constantly appreciative of what I learned and am learning from you and how it has made a HUGE difference in my life every day.”
“In the late summer of 2004 my son was living as a homeless person on the streets of San Francisco. I had just become friends with Susan Allan and she found this to be a unacceptable situation. She encouraged me to begin thinking in a positive manner that would have my son coming home to live with me and addressing what I feared was a serious drug problem. I visited my son around Labor Day and convinced him to return to Santa Barbara to live with me. Once home I discovered he was addicted to crystal meth. I was determined to do anything and everything to help him. I began being coached by Susan to learn a new way of communicating, of listening and speaking. I understood what it was like to live with an addict. I watched him get into trouble with the law and became his attorney. I watched as everyone, virtually everyone around us gave up on him. Whether it was “tough love” or “letting him hit bottom” or “jail was the only way to save him” only Susan believed in me and supported me in finding another way. I practiced self empathy. I gave my son empathy, listened to him, didn’t judge; didn’t give advice, didn’t insert myself into the problem and make it about me. It was not easy. I was able to support him in finding a 30 day dual diagnosis residential rehab program in Santa Barbara and convince the court to sanction it as part of his diversion/probation. I was able to help find a 6 to 12 month residential program in Arizona where my son could continue his recovery with the approval and supervision of the court. He started in early January 2005. On October my son will celebrate 10 months of sobriety. He has graduated from rehab and is living in a house with two other graduates. He works full time and attends 4 after care sessions a week at the rehab facility. There is light in his eyes. I know that these results would not have been possible without the countless hours of coaching with Susan Allan. She saved my son’s life. The skills I have learned and am learning has changed my life. I use the tools in my work, my family life, my social life, in my very thought process countless time a day. She is a miracle worker.” Yours truly,
Arno Jaffe, Esq. 330 E. Carrillo Santa Barbara, CA 93101
firstname.lastname@example.org (805) 897-0066
“I have known Susan Allan for approximately 3 years. She has helped me improve my whole perspective on myself, my husband, and my children. My life has changed immensely. At the time I first called her, my husband was having an affair. I was devastated and determined to save our marriage of 20 years and our family. Her coaching helped me get a grip on my despair, find inner peace and ground me enough to face the challenge that lay before me. I learnt not only strategies but also tactics that assisted me in handling extremely challenging daily situations with my husband. We never separated and the affair fizzled out. Unfortunately, the marital strife did have an affect on our teenagers. One was able to function in spite of the stress. The other was not and turned to drugs, alcohol and defiance. There was daily strife and many clashes threatened the shaky marital partnership again. We were not in agreement on the parenting approach. Susan's coaching again, grounded me, gave me a different perspective, helped me understand how to interact with a different style and be effective. I was able to influence a previously resistant spouse to support the idea of wilderness and therapeutic boarding school for our teen. It has been an extraordinary journey to have my family where it is today. I would never have thought it possible 3 years ago. Susan's understanding of human interactions is profound and remarkable. The combination of her teachings of the Hermann Brain Dominance Instrument™, Marshall Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication SM and her own personal search for peace and open communication with all people are effective. They can be applied to any personal and professional situation and should be absorbed in order to improve each and every relationship that is important to you. I am a wife, a mother and an educated professional. I choose to remain anonymous to protect the privacy of my family.” Southern California, April 2006
“I just wanted you to know…you helped me so much when all was in darkness.. at a very scary time when there were really few safe places to reach for-you were one. Thank you. I am safe now.” Stacey S. Assistant to the Director ITR Finance & Administrative Services, California State University, Northridge
“Thank you; I am doing very well and continue to use NVC in my practice and my personal life. It is transforming for my clients when they can focus on needs the strategies do emerge and it minimizes the hard line positions. I value our sessions and knowing that you are a resource for me. I am active in the collaborative law panel here as a mediator and we are looking to create an NVC workshop for the attorneys and I am introducing it to the local mediators and an educational program for our monthly meetings.” BJ Mann NY State Mediator trained in Divorce Forum Mediation
“I wanted to thank you for your time, thoughtfulness and kindness. I have been feeling emotionally "balanced" after our conversation. Now, when the emotions arise, followed by their accompanying thoughts, I ask what the unmet need is, recognize it, take a deep breath in and exhale (without creating a story about the thought). I look forward to reading the materials you'll send and speaking with you on Wednesday.” R.S. West Palm Beach, FL
“Last summer my son’s life hit a breaking point. Again. In his late 30’s, a divorced father of two children, his business had failed when his business partner said: “Enough.” His raging anger alienated everyone—customers, friends, family. He lived alone, in a dark, depressing apartment in San Jose. He would not open the windows and let in the sun. He was paranoid of his neighbors, of everyone. The neighbors were either “criminals” or “drug addicts,” and he himself? Just an innocent victim, who liked to drink. He was about to lose his apartment and would soon be living in the streets. He had no money, despite yet another “rescue” just months earlier that drained my retirement fund. His 14-year old son called me and said: Dad put his head through the wall.” After years of drug and alcohol dependency, he was drinking and smashing his brains out. It all looked futile and bleak. Then my daughter called me and said: “Mom, I think he’s going to commit suicide.” We’d been through car accidents, injuries, hospitals, therapists, jail; even an accidental death. It was like a surreal nightmare. My handsome, intelligent, sweet-natured, beautiful son was a kind, well-groomed electrician, and proud father of two teens. People who met him always said: “How lucky you are to have such a fine son.” Little did they know he was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. His “potion” was booze. This was not the life I envisioned. My son was hopelessly addicted to alcohol. I was afraid of him and what he might do to himself, or to others. Our talks always resulted in anger. For years I prayed for help. Last year, I met Susan Allan and attended her weekly classes, and started working with her individually. Susan helped me see that my son needed rehab— he was absolutely out of control. Before meeting Susan and learning compassionate, non-violent communication, I was an “advice-giver.” Whenever my son got to a bad place, I made suggestions. “Why don’t you go to AA? Have you seen a therapist? Do you maybe think you need medication?” The endless suggestions only irritated him, and created more frustration and distance. It didn’t work. Susan helped me change how I spoke to my son. I learned to show compassion for his feelings and needs. I learned to listen—rather than give advice. Susan and Marshall Rosenberg changed our lives. I stopped judging, and listened. I asked permission before giving feedback. After just two sessions using the new techniques of giving compassion, my son agreed to go to rehab! I was stunned. My daughter found a Christian rehab where he stayed two months (of an 8-month program.) After two months he felt so good being clean and sober, he went back to San Jose to work and be near the kids. He got himself into a County-run, sober-living group home, which supported his transition back to work and stability for about 6 months. The group home charged a percent of his earnings. So he was safe, not on the streets, and did not face the daunting tasks of getting utilities turned on, paying huge deposits, and having good rental references (which he had wrecked punching holes in walls.) Eight months of supportive housing allowed him to focus on sobriety, church, AA, his kids-- and getting re-settled in a job. The other day I attended my grand daughter’s high school graduation. My son was the ultimate, proud father. Gone was the angry, hurt, agitated face. He was genuinely warm and friendly in his manner. He was all smiles. To look at us, no one would know what we’ve been through as a family. No one would imagine that this person could put his head through a wall. Afterwards, Brian and his former wife gave their daughter a nice celebration party in a restaurant. Our family was jubilant. Secretly, I knew we were celebrating more than Katrina’s graduation. We were celebrating my son’s return as the handsome, intelligent, sweet-natured, well-groomed electrician, and proud father of two beautiful teens. Here was a son any parent could be proud of, and thankful for. I am thankful-- to Susan and to God for this miracle. I use the techniques in my work, in my community activities, in everything. I share them with others. Compassionate, non-violent communication saved my son’s life and changed my life as a mother. I have stopped crying, stopped living in fear, and stopped draining my checkbook on crisis rescues. I am at peace. I recommend these techniques to anyone who needs change, or any family member trying to help “a person in crisis.” It worked for me, and I know it will help others. Thank you Susan! Thank you God! Hugs!” From Sharon Rose, Goleta, CA 805 692-9154 email@example.com
Here’s my update 18 months later for the 2nd generation being healed!! : “I will always hold you close to my heart for your insight and skill in helping me change the way I related to him so I could help him. Henry is there (my daughter's troubled son) doing the second phase of his rehab with Brian as his mentor! The facility is alive with activities daily and nightly. Remember how I worried about his isolation? He didn't have ONE friend left when I came to you. He was the angriest person on eath and he was my son. My heart was breaking. He'd lost his job and was losing his apartment. He was drinking and drugging alone in a shabby apt. with curtains closed (banging his head on the wall, remember?) If he'd died or had an accident, no one would have known--he was SO alone. People who know him now would not believe any of this. (2 years ago) He has a HUGE extended family. One woman (former addict) told me: "Your son has helped me so much. He drove me to meetings when I could not have gotten myself there. I stayed sober and I have a new life because of Brian." He is always smiling and laughing and helping others and improving the facility. He has a twinkle in his eye. He still has a quiet, studious side --but seems so balanced. He works out and takes care of his damaged foot. (The one he almost lost in the drug-deal fight.) He reads the bible a lot, and goes to study groups. This is his path. I think he will be a pastor eventually. He may have a youth ministry. He was addicted to TV before, but doesn't have it and doesn't miss it. His life is full and rich. The kids can't watch TV so they practice guitar, keep their rooms clean, exercise, read and interact with people. They are happy and love it there. They are proud of him and have many friends. Every once in a while one of them will say to me: Remember -- the hole in the wall? (from his head bang incident.) It's our little secret. They can't even believe life was like that before. He started a garden with the pre-schoolers-- the teachers love him. When I was up there he was cooking wonderful things from the garden. He's getting a reputation as a cook as well as "the fix it" man. Everyone I met said: "You are Brian's mom! (as if to say-AWESOME! YOU"RE SO LUCKY to have such a son!) They love him. Sharon”
“Hello again Susan, I realized one thing my work with you did was broke my addiction to a certain thought pattern I had that was creating and re-creating a reality I no longer wanted or needed! I felt better after a one-hour phone call with you than I had in a long, long time. THANK YOU!” L.K. Pacific Palisades, CA
That is really great Susan .You are the right person in this world for me and many others. I see this as you grow and develop these wonderful healing skills you have really learned to master. You have the magic now! Love Alexis Dr. Alexis Kirk NY, NY 2010
“First I want to thank you for the personalized answer. I never even dreamed I would get such great help.” S; La Crescenta, CA
“Thank you for the extraordinary help I received from you in August. It was incredibly helpful at a very difficult time. Our relationship is 1000% better. There is still some debris ‘under the rug’ but we will slowly address that.” S CA
“Hello Susan :) Just wanted to give you an exciting update on yesterday's developments... It was dismissed. :) I wanted to share!! Thank you,” Melanie Florida December 2010
“Susan, Nonviolent Communication has saved my bottom many times. I don't always use the four steps consistently. A refresher course is very much needed. Happy to know your workshops will be starting up again soon. Keep up the good work” Frances Moore, Santa Barbara, CA
“I would like to thank you for helping me last year. Your advice and thoughts gave me some awareness that I needed to see. Since realizing what I needed to do and couldn't do for someone else I have moved my attention and dedication to my business and it is starting to come about.” N. R. Washington State
“I truly understand what you mean and was sensing the same thing. Thanks so much for setting me on the right path.” Ken LeBlanc Systems Analyst
Long Beach Memorial Heart Institute
“I have been using the self empathy during the morning drive, at work and at the end of the day. I feel that it has settled me down to really be in the present and not up in my head. Thank you for this tool. I will continue to use this...and have continued my daily mantras on the way to work, during work and through out the evening.” Lori L Los Angeles, CA
“I think about you often. My husband and I are continuing our marital relationship for now. There are still many challenges but, a tremendous amount of the openness and truth which has entered into our lives I attribute to your wonderful coaching. Love” Stephanie P. Kalispell, MT
“Hi Susan! YOU were so helpful to me when my husband left & I was in so much pain. It's been a year since he left, and I am doing incredibly well. In fact, as everybody said I am stronger, happier, all those wonderful things that you hear will happen. Good things are happening all around. That means I am moving on. I am going to get out your stuff that I have and start reading it again. I'm going to pass this email on to a friend who is going through a divorce today. Hugs” L. R. in Central Florida
“I thank you deeply for all the time you have given me already... love m” M.G. Malibu, CA
“With Susan’s assistance I learned that what I had believed were honest open attempts on my part to make requests could actually be interpreted more as demands instead. As a result, my partner would often feel guilty if he didn’t comply and resentful if he did comply! No wonder his own inner turmoil and conflict caused him to withdraw and separate from me. Now I am learning to integrate both my head and my heart so that both my partner and I can feel heard and truly understood” Barb Hepperle M.Sc. Life and Divorce Adjustment Coaching, Canada
“As a former trial lawyer, I am no stranger to a variety of methods of dispute resolution – including arbitration, mediation, and trial (trial usually being the most unsatisfactory of all) . I wish I had possessed the skills of non-violent communication that Susan teaches when I was practicing law. While I continue on the path of learning to master these, I find myself employing them in everything from business to interpersonal relationships. It is an invaluable tool.” Mark Jacobsen, Attorney at Law, Santa Barbara, CA
“As an attorney and a mediator, I’m delighted with the results of Susan Allan’s Divorce Forum Collaborative Model. Her recommended use of a dissolution financial expert or CFDA whose financial expertise exceeds any divorce lawyer I’ve met, clarifies all the monetary issues so that much of the work necessary to reach an agreement during mediation is already clarified and completed. Her use of Compassionate Communication SM in all her mediations is unique to any practitioner in the country. Her inclusion of additional experts, including parenting, and real estate specialists as part of the collaborative process should they be necessary, has proven effective time and time again. The results have been peaceful, time-efficient, cost-effective dissolution work that has benefited me and my clients in the highest possible way. I believe there is no better approach to divorce anywhere in the world today. Arnold S. Jaffe, Esq. Santa Barbara attorney and mediator
“Thank you for all of your help. Using my new found skills, I set a goal to reestablish an important account that the factory I represent had lost last year. My strategy was to think through what the customer's needs were and how I could meet them at this time. The plan incorporated things that the factory had never done before in my territory. Not only was the plan accepted by the factory, the customer is back on board. This customer represented an average of just under $20,000 per year in commissions the last four years! Ross Shapiro, CEO, Interstate Sales Associates, Inc.
“Susan was articulate, focused and dynamic. She pushed buttons, brought to the surface probably what some of us do subconsciously, but do not properly articulate. Susan created awareness for the presence with the near future not far behind. Listen intently and actions will be properly executed. It was well worth the six weeks.” James G. McMahon, Interstate Sales Rep
“I felt that the training is going to help me with my sales production. She was very informative and energetic and it allowed me to see what I was doing wrong in my sales pitch to customers. Thanks for having her help us out.” Mark Liggett, Interstate Sales Rep
“Dear Susan Allan, Thank you for taking the time to reply. My husband and I had a long talk when he got home, and we were able to resolve our problem. Thank you again.” Jessi B 3/10/04
“My 21 year old son called the other day while on a break from a 21 hour shift fighting a wildfire in Central Oregon. He didn’t sound tired, he sounded enthused. “The winds were right so we had to take that window of opportunity to set back-fires all night – we got the fire 20% contained. This is fun” he proclaimed, “I love this!”. The call was interrupted from time to time by local residents who had been evacuated, coming up to thank him for saving their town and their homes. What is remarkable about this was that it was coming from a young man who just a couple of months ago felt hopeless about his life, completely without direction and was chronically unemployed. Living at home and perpetually dependent on his parents for support, his life, it seemed, revolved around smoking pot and partying – no work, no school, no hope. Worst of all, we could not talk about it without the conversation disintegrating into a painful argument. Though my wife and I love our son dearly, negativity, anger, resentment, frustration and despair were coloring our relationship with him. A friend suggested I attend one of Susan Allen’s Nonviolent Communication workshops. I saw how the techniques she taught could help in ways that conventional forms of counseling and therapy could not. After a free introductory consultation, I was convinced. Susan became my “Life Coach”, and I became immersed in an intensive course of Compassionate Communication through bi-weekly phone conferences with her. I incorporated all I learned from Susan into conversations with my Son and my Wife with remarkable results. We no longer argued … we communicated with empathy, love and compassion. I focused primarily on communicating with my son about both his needs, and mine, for self-sufficiency and independence. Instead of reacting with anger, I learned to empathize with his feelings of hopelessness and despair while guiding him, without recrimination, toward productive goals he could achieve. The goals we set were modest, but he surprised me a few weeks later when he told me had signed up for a training program to become a wildfire fighter. He surprised me even more when he completed the course (over half drop out) and was called up to his first fire. Fire-fighting is dangerous work, I know, but my concern is tempered by my belief that the path my son was on before was far more dangerous. He has quickly far surpassed the modest goals we talked about. His sense of accomplishment, confidence and fulfillment now are palpable and I know it is in large part thanks to Susan’s coaching me through the many talks I had with my son using Non Violent Communication” Mark Jacobson, Esq. Santa Barbara, CA.
“Once again, I really want to thank you for helping me with the speech for the Red Cross. What I learned from you then, and having a positive experience, has helped me give other presentations. Thank you for helping me find a voice again! There is certainly a lot more to learn, but at least I have a wonderful start, thanks to you!
Thank you again Susan!” Claudia Weber Strays & Others New Canaan, CT
“Thank you for all your help! You have answered most of my questions and I believe I know where to go to handle it from here. Again thank you for taking the time.” Sincerely, Barbara St. Augustine, FL
“Dear Ma’am, Thank you so much for the information, my ex-husband is still here in the Philippines same as me. Thank you so much for your information; it means a lot to me, hope and again you can provide information of the question I asked to you. You’ve been a wonderful help. God bless.” E. Searcy (Garnet), Philippines
“Thank you so much for your advice...really need it right now, would love to take you up on the phone coaching session, you seem to have a good grasp on both aspects of my situation. Thank you again for your time, and input...I definitely appreciate it. S Samson Abilene Texas
“Thank you for such wonderful advice” J Winters Sacramento, CA
“Thank you Susan I feel better about the issues I have wrote to you about... Have a beautiful blessed Holiday... I will read your email answer again today to help me.” E Reid Suffolk, NY
“Many thanks for your continued generous commitment to this very helpful offering.” Maury Plunkett Treman Santa Barbara, CA
"Your coaching has changed everything! Susan has an astounding ability to listen non-judgmentally. She helped me get a better handle on my own situation -- feeling great compassion for both of us and seeing how we could act in ways that would serve us both better. Her method of self-empathy is one of the most powerful practices I've experienced. Within moments, she led me from a state of anxiety to one of clarity about what I was feeling, what I needed, and how I could take better care of myself and the situation.” CLIENT #108
“Your mediation advice has been very helpful and has saved me thousands of dollars!” CLIENT #111
“Coaching with Susan Allan changed my life forever. It caused me to look beneath the surface to find what was transpiring and it has enabled me to see what the truth is versus what I thought the truth was. So it moved me out of illusion into reality which is where I now live. For this it has made me a better man.” CLIENT # 99
Once again, thanks for coaching me through my bad times and not knowing how to handle them. Ever since I met you a year and a half ago, when I was ready to go into the deep abyss, you have been there to inspire and help. You first introduced me to meditation yoga, where I have been learning to love and honor myself. That alone has increased my productivity ten fold. It is amazing how much can be accomplished when one loves oneself. The four Questions of Inquiry from Byron Katie gave me new insight into the stories I tell myself, and the reality to these thoughts. I am especially grateful for this new teaching of empathy for the self as well as for others, based on Nonviolent Communication™; and recognizing our own needs as well as the needs of others. I Love You Susan Allan” CLIENT #33
”I've really enjoyed the depth of resources you utilize, from within yourself and other teachers, to assist people along their path.” CLIENT #34
“I feel so excited about the potential for growth from this work. Susan helped me to be able to see things in the present and the past I hadn’t been able to look at before. I feel very peaceful, delighted and excited about it. The work is safe. So many times we go into deep feelings and feel a deep disturbance but this work with Susan feels really safe. I encourage you to come into the session with your heart open and a deep sense of trust so you can let go. Her insight is crystal clear. When we got to the bottom of my concepts, I felt happy because of my need for the Truth. Thank you! The gift you have is miles and miles beyond other forms of help” CLIENT # 393
“The closer I became to the person in the relationship, the closer I came to beginning the countdown to the end. The end is where the pain resides. I felt totally helpless that I would ever experience unconditional love and support. The biggest thing I learned from coaching with Susan Allan is that I am no longer in denial about not having communication skills. That is a good place to start. It gives me hope that maybe relationships aren’t hopeless but the way I approached them was” Mark B. Santa Barbara, CA
“Thank you for your coaching. Your healing words are in my head and are a
constant reminder of the choices I have for constructive communication and
meeting needs OR ineffective communication that meets no one's needs. Thank
you for hanging in there with me.” CLIENT #93
“There’s nothing that would make me happier than to stay married and to love my husband and that is what coaching with Susan Allan has done for me; it has been a complete turn-around! I really appreciate your understanding and support.” HH Tarzana, CA
“In my first session with Susan Allan, I learned to define my feelings. This training allows me to understand my past instead of just having my story. This is a big step forward in being proactive in my healing.” CLIENT #211
“What hit my soul is when you wrote in your column, ‘my independence threatens my husband’s vulnerability’”! CLIENT # 214
“This is clarification - if you do this process you will get the results. This offers me excitement, achievement and self-realization” CLIENT # 69
“Thank you for sticking with me during the process and during my resistance! CLIENT # 57
“I married her parents and now I’m divorcing her parents! I really feel grateful that you’re there, Susan to support me through this!” CLIENT #215
“Working with a divorce coach is like going to a good contractor when you’re building a house instead of doing the remodeling yourself.” CLIENT # 101
“Susan, I want to let you know what an impact you had on my life. I will use the tools you showed me to insure I have freedom and ease through life.” LS CA
“I got more out of this one session with you then I got from all the sessions I had with my husband’s counselor! Thank you!” MM Minnesota
“Thank you very much for the advice. I let my mom read it and we are now trying to do something about it. I couldn’t seek help anywhere else, so I would like to thank you SO much…thank you very much!!!” CLIENT # 213
“You’ve taken my fears and my concerns and laid them out for me to see what really is true.” CLIENT # 219
“The weekend went very well... I know it's because of our talk. There’s still more brewing but I can breathe! Thanks” KN, CA
“Susan, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me. My ex-husband has pressured me into everything through fear with this whole divorce process.” CLIENT # 299
“Thank you for your immediate response. I am quite surprised for the speedy reply. I will surely get in touch with a lawyer here in California to help me deal with my divorce problem. Sincerely, EY CA
“Thank you again for your patience and understanding of this situation, I can't say how much I appreciate your taking the time to correspond with me on this matter. As I have said before, this is tearing her father, sister, grandparents and other family members apart, as well as myself beyond belief.” PB
“Susan, thanks a million! I think what you wrote is great and can finally start me going; thanks” SG NJ
“Thank you so much for your quick response. I will definitely follow your advice.” Stella N
“Susan, thank you for this info so much it just made me feel 100% better...thank you so much I can go to work with a clear mind now. Thanks again. ” RB
“Thank you for you timely response. Each point that you made was helpful and will be taken under advisement.” WC, Montana
“Thanks for the ideas!!! I will utilize them.” K, Manhattan Beach, CA
“When I spoke to you the first time, it was better for me than a year of counseling. I can’t tell you how helpful this session has been. This validates things I’ve been thinking about and feeling.” JS, CT
“This coaching is very helpful. As we point to my husband’s behavior, now I can feel compassion instead of feeling appalled.” LC, Pasadena, CA
“I want to thank you for your invaluable and timely advice. I appreciate all your wisdom. “JB Carpinteria, CA
“I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your free counseling session. Your tips were very helpful to me emotionally. I wish that I had learned about you before I filed for a divorce. Your kindness touched my heart and your words defined you as an intelligent woman who is always there to help those (like me) who do not know what to do.” Y H, New York, NY
“You do a marvelous job helping others to rediscover their dignity and to make a ‘new life’. God bless.” Andrew Bruintjies (Rev.) Oikos Life Skills Training Huguenot, South Africa
“This is such a learning experience. I can’t thank you enough for all of your help. Good luck with all the amazing work you are doing. Kindest regards”, Phoenix Rivera, London UK
“Susan, I want to let you know what an impact you had on my life. I will use the tools you showed me to insure I have freedom and ease through life.” LS Venice, CA
“First of all thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to offer
me coaching. It worked. Thanks for your help! I look forward to having more coaching sessions with you.” TT , CT
“Thank you for you quick and forthright response. I prayed last night for
some guidance on this matter.” MW
“Susan, as we say in Hawaii, MAHALO NUI LOA (thank you VERY much) for
qualifying this for me! Aloha” B G Hawaii
“I would be most grateful to receive any list of names that you can provide. Our family has only recently moved to southern California, and thus do not know of any lawyers in the area. Thank you so much for the helpful offer! I am most appreciative.” DJ, Los Angeles, CA
“Thank you very much for the quick response to my question. I will share The 7 Stages of Divorce. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Thank you very much.” A H Studio City, CA
“Thank you Susan, I thought that was the case. I have written a formal
letter to him and asked that we discuss it together to come up with a
reasonable solution. I appreciate your time.” CM Manchester, NH
“Thank you for bringing all of your brilliance to bear on my situation, I got the perspective I needed. You were so detailed! I feel so optimistic that I can be with people the way I really want to.” PB Carpinteria, CA
“Dear Susan, thanks a ton for your prompt reply.” Vimalendu, India
“Thank you so much for your prompt reply. This has certainly eased my mind a little. I will consider talking to someone locally as you suggest, if this matter persists, or if he pushes it. Again, thank you.” D Marcus
“Susan, I just wanted to update you with my court case 12/15/03- I did exactly what you told me to do and it worked...I won the court case !!!!! I kept my power throughout the whole time I was there even though the lawyer tried his hard to make eye contact with me....did not allow that to happen. Knew my whole info like my name....I really want to thank you for the info. I have passed on your number to some of my friends. Thank you so much for the valuable information that you have shared with me. It took my body a week to recover from going to court. I was really tired after everything was said and done. Thanks again.” S Levin CA
“Thank you for such wonderful advice” J Winters Sacramento, CA
“Thank you Susan, I feel better about the issues I have wrote to you about...
“Thank you for the encouragement you have given me. I enjoyed working with you!
Have a beautiful blessed Holiday... I will read your email answer again today to help me.” E. Reid, Suffolk NY
“The fact that you answered me means a lot to me right now. The first time I left 18 years ago I went to a Domestic Violence shelter. This time I am enrolled in a program called safe net with Mid Shore Counsel on Family Violence which provided me pro bono legal counsel and other benefits. I'm sorry, I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for caring.” G Johnson, Dorchester, MD
“Thank you Susan you've been a real big help” K Moore, Irmo, S Carolina
“Susan, Thank you for your input, it is greatly appreciated.” K. Ricker Athol, MA
I look forward to talking with you in the future. With love, Sharon Sacramento, CA 10/1/08