DIVORCE LAWYER COULDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR ME BUT GUIDO'S BEEN FANTASTIC."
SHE BRING HOME THE BACON?
By Mark Patt, Esq.
Divorce cases are often filled with incidents that reflect how low
one spouse can act toward the other. It is hard to believe that
these incidents could occur between two spouses who once loved each
other, but believe it, they happen.
the divorce case was pending, both husband and wife remained in
the residence. Neither one wanted to move, and because there was
no violence between the parties, neither one could go to court to
force the other party to leave. The parties did have an arrangement
whereby each one had exclusive use of a particular bedroom and bathroom.
husband and wife were Jewish, but only the husband maintained kosher
dietary standards. While the divorce case was pending, the wife,
with the clear intent to annoy and harass the husband, bought bacon
and put it in the refrigerator. She did not do this because she
wanted to eat the bacon; it was done with the clear and simple intent
of causing distress to the husband. Needless to say, the wife succeeded.
However, in the end her tactics failed since the husband was later
able to go to court to obtain an order giving him exclusive use
of the refrigerator as well as obtaining a restraining order against
the wife for harassment.
while it is generally good to have a spouse who "brings home
the bacon", in some situations this can produce an undesired
Patt, Esq. is the managing partner of Trope & Trope, the
largest family law practice in Los Angeles, California.
Patt has practiced family law for more than 20 years and has lectured
for more than ten years.
Trope Esq., the founder of the firm, is renowned as the "father
of family law" in California where divorces are a bigger business
than the movies.
the most important contribution that Mr. Patt and Mr. Trope have
made is that they saved my life in my own dirty divorce. I cannot
imagine greater expertise or better results from any other legal
Patt has generously agreed to offer divorce vignettes from his practice
as an ongoing contribution to our site and has agreed to receive
email from readers seeking counsel in the Los Angeles area.
law offices of Trope and Trope are located at
12121 Wilshire Blvd. Suite 801
Los Angeles, California 90025
contact Mr. Patt at:
TO A FRIEND
YOU'RE BEING ATTACKED BY A 600 lb. GORILLA, FIND AN 800 lb. GORILLA
TO DEFEND YOU."
by Lawyer X
a divorce? Want to win? Then you need to know all those things that
your lawyer is not allowed to tell you. But I will tell you. I'm
Lawyer X. I think the legal system sucks, and I know how to beat
it. If your lawyer asks, you never heard of me."
1st Installment - Lying to Your Lawyer
lawyer will only take your case if he* thinks he can win with it.
Your lawyer is not your friend, and he could care less whether he
believes in you - which is the opposite of your approach. You're
looking for an ally, someone who thinks you're in the right; but
your lawyer's just looking for case facts that will lead to another
notch on his trial belt.
this, and do not forget it: the facts of your case that are most
emotionally relevant to you are absolutely meaningless in court.
Ninety-nine percent of the things you tell your lawyer about your
ex and your life are irrelevant to the legal system.
the things you tell your lawyer can lead or mislead your lawyer
into thinking you have a winning hand. You can exaggerate or outright
lie to your lawyer in order to get him to take your case, which
is what most clients foolishly and desperately do - to their own
now you think I'm going to admonish you not to lie, right? Wrong.
You've got to lie to your lawyer, but you have to learn to lie about
the right and relevant things. And, if you're a good listener, your
lawyer will tell you exactly what he needs to hear - that is, what
lies you need to tell him, the lies that will help you win your
by telling your lawyer what results you want. DO NOT YET TELL YOUR
LAWYER THE FACTS OF YOUR CASE. Then shut up and listen as your lawyer
explains how those results will be determined in court. Once you
know what will be relevant, adjust the facts in your mind so that,
if true, they will lead to the results you intend. NOW YOU TELL
THE LAWYER THESE "ADJUSTED" FACTS.
your lawyer will proceed through the discovery process based on
the "facts" you gave him. And your ex's lawyer will think
himself clever by divining those facts through analysis of your
lawyer's "moves" during discovery. It's chess, or poker.
And your ex's lawyer will presume that you are capable of proving
the facts which underlie your lawyer's moves. Of course, given time,
you would well be able to manufacture whatever you need to in order
to prove those facts, but it will not usually come to that -- the
egos of both lawyers will insure a settlement from whichever lawyer
first perceives himself as a certain loser in the case.
despite all you hear about lawyers being untruthful and dishonest,
most are really quite innocent and gullible - even if they wisely
believe that clients lie, they do not think that their fellow lawyers
bluff in situations where those lawyers would lose embarrassingly
should the issues be tried.
Analysis: Your lawyer is not your psychologist - do not waste your
time and money in pouring out your heart to him. What matters most
to your case is what he tells you, not what you tell him. You must
learn the relevant legal issues from your lawyer so that you can
provide him the "facts" that will win your case.
installment: Manufacturing proof to match your "facts".
the P.C. gender-conscious, each installment will flipflop between
masculine and feminine. This installment referred to everyone as
male - next installment will be female. LX
" She who
marries a gorilla for money, when the money goes, the gorilla remains
a gorilla." Arabic Proverb
TO A FRIEND