ASK THE DIVORCE COACH©, SUSAN ALLAN

For one hour free relationship coaching, susanallan@thedivorceforum.com

ASK THE DIVORCE COACH©, SUSAN ALLAN

DIVORCE COACHING SAVES MARRIAGES

 Why should you Ask The Divorce Coach? What is Divorce Coaching?

Did you know that Divorce Coaching will allow you to consider all your divorce options, strategies and the best experts to support you through the process? Most of my clients report that their top 3 challenges during divorce are NOT money, loneliness or housing. It is the need for a “Divorce Education”. My Divorce Coaching package provides:

1. How to understand your financial situation FIRST; before speaking with your spouse or ANYONE! Do you understand the basics of spousal and child support? Have you had a financial expert run the software program for you so that you see the results based on length of marriage; marital assets and debts, and other pertinent factors?
   
2. How to use the “D word” with your spouse, children and family. Have you been trained to deal with the emotions that your children feel? Do you have a custody problem? Do you need a Psychological Evaluation but don't know what is required? Did the court order an Evaluation for your family and you don't understand how to improve your own results?
   
3. How to select an attorney or mediator that is best-suited for your case.If you are considering divorce, do you know the difference between choosing a family attorney, mediator or the new collaborative option?
   
4. How to communicate effectively with your attorney or mediator once the choice has been made. Do you understand how to do “follow-up” with your divorce team?
   
5. How to prepare for Depositions or Court. Are you aware of the questions to ask each expert if you want the best results in your divorce? Which questions should you ask your attorney and which should you ask your Divorce Coach and which are appropriate for your therapist? When you consult a qualified Divorce Coach, you address all the time-sensitive issues of divorce without becoming bogged down in the psychotherapeutic aspects which are best handled during therapy sessions. Divorce Coaching allows you to consider your needs as well as those of your spouse and children to create a strategy that works for all of you. Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. founder of The Center for Nonviolent Communication™ states, “twenty minutes after each party expresses his or her needs and the other partner hears them and reflects them back a strategy will find them!”

 
Dear Divorce Coach,

Thank you for your coaching. My husband and I had a long talk when he got home, and we were able to resolve our problem. Thank you again.

Sincerely,
Snow Bunny

Dear Divorce Coach,

I want to share my life with someone that I love and trust. My husband and I have been married for 16 years. I can't say that I love this man that I live with. Several years ago, he decided that he no longer loved me and left us for a time. He had another woman in his life and although I asked him many times to come home, he wouldn't. Finally, he did return telling me how much he loved me and my children. Shortly thereafter, I found out that he was continuing to see this woman. How do I move on? How do I change directions and proceed to the next step?

Sincerely,
Pathetic Image

Dear Pathetic,

I can read that you feel enormously hurt because your own need for appreciation is not being met. If you did love your husband when you married, can you imagine being able to return to that level of communication and intimacy?

With clients who are in Marital Mediation Coaching© with me and who use our "How to Avoid Divorce" training video, there is a 99% success rate. It requires only one partner to transform any relationship.

Sincerely yours,
Susan Allan
Ask The Divorce Coach

Dear Divorce Coach,

He became a convincible liar. He did things that were forgivable but never forgettable. I no longer trust him, although we are still married. He told me that he never wanted children. We have three. He said it was all my idea. I don't feel the love that I should for my husband, but because of a commitment to my vows I feel obligated to remain married. I now want happiness. I want to share my life with someone that I love and trust. Help! I don't even have a clue how to do this.

Signed,
Should I be Committed?

Dear Should,

Commitment to vows is different from commitment to loving your husband and yourself. One option for you is my Marital Mediation Training©; coaching sessions for which only one partner is required. Another option is our "How to Avoid Divorce” training. A third option is a free session with me to discuss divorce instead of reconciliation. Only you can decide which meets your needs for true commitment and peace.

You may discover if you prefer to transform your relationship. Are you willing to commit yourself to investigating your thinking, listening and speaking which is not working for you? Or are you focused only on your partner? The difference between peacefully discovering new strategies to meet your needs for love, appreciation, financial security, and peace, may mean the difference between love and hate, marriage or divorce.

For 101 Divorce Survival Secrets, and free E-zine, visit www.thedivorceforum.com . For one hour of free, private telephone coaching, contact susanallan@thedivorceforum.com