Santa Monica Observer October 28, 2003
As seen in The Santa Monica Observer Weekly
ASK THE DIVORCE COACH©, SUSAN ALLAN
GRAND THEFT: HUSBAND
Was it really stealing? Perhaps you were on auto-pilot and your spouse, in neutral, just rolled forward, down the hill and out of sight. What can you do now? Many wives contact me to save their marriage after the separation. Many husbands send me emails telling me what's wrong with their spouse and P.S., “How can I get her BACK???? Please!”
If you knew your marriage was in trouble, what would you do? If you knew your family was in jeopardy how far would you go to seek help and transformation? For many, servicing their car is more regular than servicing their marriage. What are the danger signs; how many have you ignored and what can you do now, before it's too late?
Divorce Danger Signs
Before the car breaks down, do you check the dashboard for danger? Before it runs out of gas, do you notice if you're “running on empty”?
My almost-X enabled me to enjoy, golf and fishing for the first few years. Then she cracked the whip and I loved working. The attitude, now, is she is unhappy again and wants out. Where do I go from here? Our Boy is only 8 years old. We fight rather than rekindle the flame. I would get a coach just as have one for my work. Maybe humans should have 7 year marriage contract with option to renew?
I have been married 2 years to an alcoholic/drug addict. I knew this before marriage but it has gotten worse. We are friends; not lovers. I am miserable and I don't know if I could handle the guilt of divorcing him. I am starving for attention and don't see things improving. We live from paycheck to paycheck and sometimes can't pay our bills. I can take care of myself alone but I can't work up the nerve to leave. I do love him a lot and don't know if I can handle the guilt if I leave him. Not to mention missing him. Please advise.
Drug and chug-a-lug
According to Herrmann Brain Dominance™, there are four thinking styles; Logical, Organized, Emotional and Visionary. Many spouses complain that they feel unloved because their mate lacks romance. Often husbands believe that income demonstrates love or wives believe that mothering children is evidence of commitment. If the partners don't speak the same “language”, there is constant misunderstanding and numerous unmet needs. Can you guess your type and your partner's and if so, can you imagine how to show your love and commitment that would be most appreciated?For 101 Divorce Survival Secrets, and free E-zine, visit www.thedivorceforum.com , with Collaborative Divorce information. For one hour of free, private telephone coaching, contact firstname.lastname@example.org
Susan Allan COO of The Divorce Forum